I’ve recently become a non- drinker.  Partly inspired by a young man I am seeing in my work as a Corrections Officer who has given up, partly inspired by wife Julie, who has had extended periods of not drinking over the last few years and partly  inspired by eating only stuff that is good for me-being a whole foods vegan.  It increasingly didn’t make sense to be putting only good things in my mouth and then to drink alcohol, which is essentially poison for the body and mind.
Given that I didn’t have a problem with alcohol, that is, it wasn’t ruining my relationships, my  work or my health, why did I give up and become a non-drinker?  Particularly, when there is huge family and social pressure to drink.  I have tended not to tell people as I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it (it seemed more likely to fail if it was a big deal) and I didn’t want to have to deal with the reaction from other people.
The reactions I have received are:
- you won’t last – derision- you’re weak- man up
- why would you want to do that for-incredulous- what’s wrong with you
- you must have a problem with alcohol
- If you’re not drinking with me, you don’t like me, I’m not good enough for you
- you’re going to be boring
Most people have a huge investment in other people drinking.  My guess is that ultimately people know drinking is bad for them.  If someone decides not to drink, it highlights that it is possible to not drink.  It also highlights to the person, that they are choosing to drink, even though they know it is not good for them.  There is a big danger that others will take a decision not to drink, as a criticism or rejection of them.   The same thing happens, when you make it known, that you are a vegan due to animal rights or animal cruelty.  People know that eating animals is cruel,  someone choosing not to do it, confronts them with the fact that they are choosing to eat animals anyway, even though it is cruel.  This makes them feel uncomfortable.
So, why did I become a non-drinker?  Well,  like most things it was a process.  Julie and I had been talking about it for years and she had been setting an example, with stints of six  months here and there.  It  happened one afternoon driving away from a family gathering, where I had had one glass of champagne.  The champagne had had that deadening effect that alcohol can have.  So, that was the tipping point.  I just suddenly made up my mind.  When I thought about it as to why,  there were lots of somewhat muddled reasons, so here they are:
- I am eating an extremely healthy diet in that I have been vegan for 12 years or so and over that time, the food I eat has gotten healthier and healthier. Â Basically, tons of beans, grains and vegetables with almost no oil, almost no processed food
- I am also a runner, so health is very important
- alcohol would often have a deadening or grumpy effect on me, although it could have the effect of elation or being the  life of the party.  I was not a heavy drinker, but like I think most people, I had done some inappropriate and stupid things when I’d been drinking
- I work with a lot of clients who have a problem with drugs and alcohol and I am very familiar with the self -delusion which takes place when using a drug/alcohol and the self delusion in a person’s view of the drug/alcohol
- I resented the ‘control’ alcohol had over my mind. Â For example, working outside and thinking about what I was going to drink that night
- I resented the cost to buy the alcohol
- I believe it is in the government and big businesses interest to keep the people ‘dumbed down’ and not thinking and questioning too  much.  I think alcohol is one of the ways this happens,  along with professional sport and mass media.  A Russian client,  I worked with years ago, explained the reason vodka was so cheap in Russia, was to keep the lid on the problems there.  If you think about it, alcohol is extremely cheap  here, around the same price as bottled water.  So, I wanted to keep my mind clear and think for myself.
- I wanted to be in control of my mind.  As Bob Marley said (yes I know he smoked a lot of dope!) “none but ourselves can free our mind”.  If we rely on alcohol to deal with our thoughts or our  feelings or to bring out certain aspects of our personality, then we are giving away power.
- Rejecting the “culture of consumption” .  This is a phrase I read in a Michael White article on addiction to alcohol.  It can easily be seen that drinking alcohol fits into our cultural paradigm of, “if I have  this, I will be happy, but never being satisfied and always needing more.  Giving up alcohol seems like a powerful rejection of the idea that I have to have something to be ok/happy/liked/attractive and more is better.
Even though I only drank, Â probably much less than the average drinker, I have noticed a huge improvement in my mood, Â since stopping. Â I Â just feel happier. Â We know that alcohol is a depressant, physically and mentally. Â People who are alcoholics are obviously depressed and it goes from there. Â Given my level of consumption, which was drinking on the weekends, a half a bottle of wine maximum, in effect two or three nights/week, it has been remarkable the lift in my mood. Â Which makes me think, alcohol is a more powerful drug than I had realised.
NOT DRINKING VERSUS NON- DRINKER
The problem with saying I am not drinking or I am on the wagon, implies I could be drinking any tick of the clock.  The decision whether to drink or not, remains a decision that has to be made over and over.  Not drinking is a  temporary thing: drinking is the default position.  I am a drinker, who is not drinking.  Whereas saying I am a non-drinker reflects a state of mind, an identity, not a behaviour.  If we want to change, it is much more powerful to change our identity: how we see ourselves.  When we have a new identity, we take on new meanings, different things become important.  The way we see ourselves powerfully shapes our thoughts and behaviours.   For me, the identity of non-drinker, reflects another step in de-colonising my mind.
Language is also shaping of identity, so carefully choosing the language of non-drinker, helps me take on that picture of myself.
Being a vegan for me is about compassion for animals and I think being a non-drinker and giving up alcohol will be another step in developing compassion for myself and others.




